Worship/Ministry’s Dirty Little Secret (Confessions of a Worship Leader)

I’m gonna tell you something that you probably already know but most people won’t actually say out loud: we say and do a lot of things under the disguise of ministry that are really motivated by PRIDE.

Shocking I know! It’s hard to believe but if we peel back the self-righteousness, the pointing and accusing and even what seems to be an effort to just point out the truth is really either a reflection of our feeling of inadequacy or an inflated sense of self.

Have you heard these phrases?

• Those big churches are a mile wide and an inch deep.
• Those rock star worship leaders could never hack it in a smaller church.
• If those smaller churches would love their children more than their tradition they wouldn’t be dying.
• Don’t be like those guys who go into ministry and are gone after 3 years and on to a bigger church.
• What do you think about those hipster type ministers?
• Do you think we should be relevant or biblical?
• I think our worship services should be authentic and not just put on a concert with all the bells and whistles.

There are hundreds of phrases like these that if we’re perfectly honest we’ve all said more often than we’d like to admit.

What we’re really saying is:

• Sure we have an unhealthy obsession with bigger churches but I want to be one of those churches.
• I spent a lot of money to learn how to be a good musician and I’m a way better worship leader than those other hacks who only have a capo and 5 chords.
• Those smaller churches are dying because they’re not as smart, relevant, or cool as we are.
• I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep moving ministries and I’m proud that I’m better than those guys.
• It’s not a good idea to obsess over youth and image but I’m past the point of being considered cool by the younger generation and that bothers me.
• I don’t care about being relevant, I care about being considered smart and right.
• I don’t know the heart of the people leading worship like God does but I feel okay making a judgment call on their motivations and whether they’re truly worshiping.

I’m putting this out there because I personally am bothered by my own fleshly pride and how it has motivated me to think or say a lot of these things. Additionally, I think there is too much sniping at our own brothers and sisters in Christ through articles and social media posts instead of dealing with the root issue.

As fallen creatures we are constantly making the same sinful mistake that our first parents Adam and Eve did in believing we should be something we’re not and making a grab for God’s glory. Trying to exalt ourselves because we feel we deserve or need something we’re being deprived of. Ultimately this is a worship problem. We’re trying to dethrone others and set ourselves up higher instead of humbling ourselves and putting to death our pride and letting God rule and reign and give us our value.

Christ gave us the perfect example of giving God his glory and being exalted because of it. Satan tempted Jesus to exercise his power, give him fame and glory. He continually turned down opportunities to exalt himself. He regularly called for humility from the the religious elite. He told people to come and follow him for he was humble and gentle. There is an incredible book called Humility by Andrew Murray that talks about us following Christ’s example by dying to self and making him our all.

As Paul says in Galatians “May I never boast except in  the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.”

The earthly Church has never been perfect, just as the patriarchs in the Old Testament and the disciples of Jesus (who constantly bickered about who was the greatest) in the New Testament weren’t.

Pauls words haunt me when he says “If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”

Our fleshly desires to be right, smart, praised or elevated over someone at their expense is destroying the church from the inside all the while the world is rotting and running straight towards hell while snubbing their nose at the Christians who can’t get along.

May Jesus prayer be continued as we follow his example of humility and submitting to our Father.

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through (the disciples) message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one- I in them and you in me- so that they be be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”